I am going to keep this short...I just want to share something right now. I lost a friend today, she wasn't a very close friend but this has hit me hard. She was too young...I am a mess. I have always been such an emotional eater, when I binge I don't feel anything, it is an easy way to numb out. Right now I just want to binge so I can stop crying. The old me would have binged till I threw up and then binged some more. This is hard, this is so very hard.
Update.. I did not binge! :D I went in the kitchen cut up two oranges and I ate them ever so slowly... it was enough. And this is even more huge because I literally have a car full of girl scout cookies right now so the face that I went for a fresh piece of fruit is a miracle in itself.. sometimes it is the little battles that are the hardest. If you have never struggled with binge emotional eating you will not get it but I am pretty damn proud of myself today... I ate healthy I am feeling much better (thanks for some kind word from some of you who read this.) And I don't really have time to blog today but over all I did awesome.. egg white english muffin sandwich for breakfast, subway for lunch and chicken and salad for supper tonight... go me! ;-P
Keep your head up!!! If you can, find another outlet that will allow you to not feel for a little while... if you can get away, a long walk, a warm bath, a run, intensive house cleaning, whatever works to get you out of your own head. Losing someone is never, ever easy, but it's healthy to feel those things in their own time.
ReplyDeleteBig hugs to you!! <3