Wednesday, February 22, 2012

4 A.M.

Some mornings my alarm goes off at 4 a.m. and I feel like a perky blond cheerleader with fake boobs has taken over my body and I am ready to hit the gym and have a "GREAT WORKOUT!"... other mornings I feel like that perky blond threw me into oncoming traffic...this morning was the latter. I wanted to throw my phone across the room and go back to sleep. I huffed and puffed a bit, cursed a little, looked at my husband with sheer disdain because he was sleeping so peacefully and it didn't seem fair at all. Then I drug my ass out of bed. I put what seemed like half a bottle of eye drops in my bloodshot eyes, brushed my teeth and put on my uniform (yes, I actually wear a "uniform" to the gym I will explain another day when I am not bitching about getting up so damn early).

I got to the gym, I did an hour of cardio I hit the weight room and did my chest and back workout and now I can go through the rest of my day knowing that I did right by myself. That I did something good for my body, for my health. I feel far better than I would have if I had slept in, if I had made the choice that I wasn't important enough to get up for.

So why 4 a.m.? When I started this journey I knew I needed more than a "desire" to workout,a "desire" to be fit. The last few years I had wanted to workout, I had thought about it, bought videos, treadmills, an elliptical, ab lounge, power glides.. you get the idea right?!? But I never stuck to anything. Things, life would come up and I would tell myself I would do it tomorrow. Problem is tomorrow never came and I ended up with type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol. So when I made this commitment to myself I knew I needed to put myself on a 4 am no one needs me, I can get ready, get to the gym, have a 2 hour work out and get back home before I have any responsibility to anyone else. If I miss my workout, it is because I decided that it wasn't worth taking care of myself...and that isn't an option for me anymore. I have discovered I kind of like myself, I'm a pretty cool chick and if I am going to do laundry, make food, run errands ect... for everyone else in my life, then damnit I better get off of my ass and make time to take care of Julie too! That is why my dreadful alarm is set for 4. There have been a handful of days in the last year and a half where I didn't drag myself out of bed and I regretted it, the feeling of letting myself down sucks so I work very hard not to.


  1. Keep at it, love! It's a hard journey, but the sense of accomplishment, achievement, and peace is worth it. I have a damn hard time dragging my ass out of bed at 5, much less at 4, so kudos to you for seeing it through!!