OK so I guess it is time for me to stop my pity party and suck it up... I was dying today at the gym.... dragging because I wasn't eating much at all the last few days... no food means no energy for my workout...bad workout means bad day... so now instead of just feeling fat, I also feel ashamed that I didn't get the workout in that I needed to. I was almost in tears this morning so I went in and I got advice from my trainer. I knew what he was gonna say... he was gonna say EAT! He told me I should be eating 1800 calories a day... pretty sure I didn't eat that this weekend (3 days) combined. So I sit here typing this as a bot of eggs comes to a boil.
I started this journey to get healthy... not eating is not healthy and I know this...and being skinny because I am not eating isn't healthy...hitting my goal weight by starving myself is not only dangerous but sending a dangerous message to my daughter... so quite frankly, fuck em' all!! So they still think I am fat...and I sit here and give them power to mess with my head...I am taking back that power.
Today I am eating... what, I am not sure yet but the eggs are a start. Taking care of my body is so important to me... sometimes my mind and other people just get the better of me and get in the way. I can't push my body if I don't fuel it and I never feel stronger or more confident than when I am pushing myself! Enjoy your breakfast! : )
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